Body Confidence Canada Awards 2014

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September 9th is known as the International Day of Beauty  — it was created by the International Committee of Aesthetics and Cosmetology (CIDESCO) and was adopted by the World Congress in 1995. What better day to celebrate body confidence, education, health and community empowerment!

I was fortunate enough to be invited to the 2nd annual Body Confidence Canada Awards – A Toast To Curves  held at Panorama.  The BCCAs created and run by the amazing Aisha Fairclough and Jill Andrew, of Fat In The City, to celebrate “champions of body confidence, positivity and body diversity in Canada”.Body-Confidence-Canada-AwardsBody Confidence Canada acknowledges Canadian based recipients who actively fight against stereotypes that attempt to label marginalized bodies (i.e., fat, radicalized, dis/abled, etc.) as unhealthy, uninspired, and underachieving.  Looking around the room that night, there was something incredibly refreshing and empowering being among so many beautiful, confident women of all shapes and sizes. 🙂

BCCA 2014
The Hosts: Aisha Fairclough and Jill Andrew, of Fat In The City

The evening began with cocktails and  incredible views of the city …followed by inspiring speeches from guest speakers and the winning nominees.

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The 2014 BCCAward winners included: Ophilia Alleyne, Jewel Kats (absent from photo below), Stefanie Augusteijn of SexyPlus Clothing and Cindy Baker.  A honourary award was also given to Dr. Carla Rice, one of the esteemed guest speakers .  Each recipient shared a touching experience, who’s words were not only uplifting but resonated with nearly  every woman in the room.

For a sample of one of the speeches click here by Miss Stefanie Augusteijn …and her message and spirit of collaboration in the plus community 🙂

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The Winners of The 2014 BCCAwards

A huge congratulations to all the winners from Petite Plus, Meow!

And now… a few fun snaps of all the fun had by me and the other lovelies in the room…

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IMG_4521 Me with THE sensational, inspiring, well-spoken Jill Andrews. If you haven’t seen her in action…click here for her TEDx Talk: Fat Shaming and the Thin Epidemic
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What I wore: Captain’s Bodycon dress from SexyPlus Clothing with peep toed platform heels from Diesel

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Events like this help support the body positive movement.  If you want to help build this event, please nominate someone that embodies what the BCCAs are all about by heading to the website and nominating someone for 2015.

EveryBODY has a story” – let’s  celebrate them!

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BIG Tune!

 

I Absolutely Love Meghan Trainor’s voice!  Her 4-track album is terrific.  But, my heart belongs to this catching tune “All About That Bass“.

 

If you’re looking to add this BIG Tune to your karaoke repertoire, like I am 😉 ….here are the lyrics:

Because you know
I’m all about that bass
‘Bout that bass, no treble
I’m all about that bass
‘Bout that bass, no treble
I’m all about that bass
‘Bout that bass, no treble
I’m all about that bass
‘Bout that bass

Yeah, it’s pretty clear, I ain’t no size two
But I can shake it, shake it
Like I’m supposed to do
‘Cause I got that boom boom that all the boys chase
And all the right junk in all the right places

I see the magazine workin’ that Photoshop
We know that shit ain’t real
C’mon now, make it stop
If you got beauty building, just raise ’em up
‘Cause every inch of you is perfect
From the bottom to the top

Yeah, my mama she told me don’t worry about your size
She says, “Boys like a little more booty to hold tonight.”
You know I won’t be no stick figure silicone Barbie doll
So if that’s what you’re into then go ahead and move along

Because you know I’m
All about that bass
‘Bout that bass, no treble
I’m all about that bass
‘Bout that bass, no treble
I’m all about that bass
‘Bout that bass, no treble
I’m all about that bass
‘Bout that bass
Hey!

I’m bringing booty back
Go ahead and tell them skinny bitches that
No I’m just playing. I know you think you’re fat
But I’m here to tell ya
Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top

Yeah my mama she told me don’t worry about your size
She says, “Boys like a little more booty to hold tonight.”
You know I won’t be no stick figure silicone Barbie doll
So if that’s what you’re into then go ahead and move along

Because you know I’m
All about that bass
‘Bout that bass, no treble
I’m all about that bass
‘Bout that bass, no treble
I’m all about that bass
‘Bout that bass, no treble
I’m all about that bass
‘Bout that bass

Because you know I’m
All about that bass
‘Bout that bass, no treble
I’m all about that bass
‘Bout that bass, no treble
I’m all about that bass
‘Bout that bass, no treble
I’m all about that bass
‘Bout that bass

Because you know I’m
All about that bass
‘Bout that bass, no treble
I’m all about that bass
‘Bout that bass, no treble
I’m all about that bass
‘Bout that bass, no treble
I’m all about that bass
‘Bout that bass
‘Bout that bass, ’bout that bass
Hey, hey, ooh
You know you like this bass

The Very Inspiring Blogger Award

Last month I was nominated for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award.  Thank you so much Jacquie, founder & curator of the Toronto Vintage Society,  for the kudos and recognition friend.  I’m oh-so thrilled to know that the wee space I’ve carved out for myself in the blogosphere is actually being read, let alone being deemed as ‘inspiring’ and award-winning.   I am truly humbled.  Thank you 🙂

very-inspiring-blog-award_zps19a927bfUpon receiving this blog award, I must now share seven random facts about myself – dems da rules.  So here I go…

FACT #1:  Repeat.  Play.

Sometimes I’ll discover/rediscover a song, and I will replay it – on repeat – for countless hours on end.  Annoying, maybe. But I can’t help it.  There are a few songs that are hauntingly beautiful.  So beautiful, that listening to it once is just not enough.  They NEED to be played and listened to over and over for hours…to truly be heard.  Tracks that have this quality who have been on my constant repeat loop recently are:

FACT #2: I cannotgirl-swim swim

Yup.  I never learnt how and am somewhat afraid of the water.  When I was little my Pops took me to the public pool and gave me one simple instruction:  sit on the towel and wait for him to return from a lap.  Naturally seeing him dive in so easily, I guess I figured I could too …
He returned to find me being revived by a young lifeguard.  Needless to say we returned home where my mom gave him all kinds of sh!t.  To this day whenever I feel water in my ears, I freak out just a bit.  Now, this hasn’t stopped me from enjoying pools and oceans whist on vacay.  I’m an excellent wader and have mad noodle-floating-skills.  I’ve signed up for “learn to swim” workshops a few times at local community centres …however, the adult sessions have always gotten cancelled due to lack of interest & signups…and there is no way I’m going to join the 14-year-olds in the youth sessions.  Nope.  Not.  Gonna.  Happen.

FACT #3:  Facebook Game Addict

You know those annoying Facebook alerts you get cuz someone is asking for lives for some silly online game to unlock that next level …. well, friends…..that’s me.  I’m that girl.  I’m the one playing those kinda games.   Candy Crush.   Farm Hero.  Scrabble.  Words With Friends.  And my newest obsession: Cookie Crunch. This addiction has gotten so bad that for a little while I would wake up in the middle of the night to see if my ‘lives’ have been restored, so I could play some more.  Gotta get to that next level.  I just gotta.  Sick right?  I know.  Shameful, guilty pleasures of my life.

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FACT #4:  I love punny jokes!  (Ha!  See what I did there…yup! I’m hilarious!)

Shameful, but true.  Those “dad jokes” that most groan at…. I love-love-love oh-so-very much!  Dunno what it is….but puns are great!  Not sure when I became so nerdy with my love of corny jokes.  I blame my day job.  As a corporate trainer, I’ve got to build and keep rapport quickly and throughout the day, usually with a bunch of strangers I’ll only ever engage with during said training session.  Sometimes I’m soooooo engaging as a facilitator that participants choose NOT to leave the room at designated breaks and lunchtime, leaving me to make chitchat conversation for a full 30-mins+.  Talk about pressure!  But with an arsenal of clean, cheesy, PUNNY jokes up my sleeve…I manage to fill the void of silence and get a chuckle or two out of nearly everyone.  Pitty laughs totally count! After all, it’s all in the delivery – and yes, I’m well aware of the fact that there’s more to being funny than just funny looking.  BA-DUM-BUMP!  I’m here all week folks! Try the veal! Tip your servers! 🙂
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FACT #5:  Toastmasters

Believe it or not, I was shy.  Shocking, I know 🙂  Standing in front of people to give a presentation made me sick to my stomach in grade school.  Public speaking was still very difficult for me in high school, and in college my courage to present in front of groups of people only increased slightly.  I remember asking my then boyfriend to leave the classroom, so that I wouldn’t have to look out and see him among the faces in the room staring back.  In hindsight, having a smiling, supportive face there would have totally been a comfort … but what did I know, I was young and dumb.  It wasn’t until I left school and began working full-time where I really began to be comfortable and confident in front of my peers and colleagues.  I was an Executive Assistant reporting to a boss who gave me the opportunity to be seen and heard from more, I decided to needed to beef up my comfort level with public speaking. That’s when I joined Ryerson’s Toastmasters.
Toastmasters is a learn-by-doing workshop in which participants hone their speaking and leadership skills in a no-pressure atmosphere.  There is no instructor in a Toastmasters meeting. Instead, members evaluate one another’s presentations. This feedback process is a key part of the program’s success.  Meeting participants also give impromptu talks on assigned topics, conduct meetings and develop skills related to timekeeping and avoiding filler-words like “ummm”.  I highly recommend finding a Toastmaster chapter that works for you, if you’re looking to build your self confidence and/or to get more comfortable speaking to groups of strangers –  I am proof it works!  And now speaking to groups of strangers regularly is what I do for a living.   Cra-cra huh? 🙂
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FACT #6:  Sunflowers scare me!

There it is folks.  I have an irrational fear of Sunflowers.  I’ve been known to cross over to the other side of the street if I see a patch of these freighting blooms in someones yard all bunched creepily together.  Even worse – are those SINGLE GIANT BLOOMS.  eeeep!!!  Particularly those ones with the dark centres and the pointy petals. {shiver}
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FACT #7: Perfect 4.0 GPA

Remember those purple “Participation” ribbons they would give  out during track and field?  Yup … those were the ONLY ones I’d ever win, ever.  All those school achievements – I never won a damn thing.  I wasn’t particularly athletic and I wasn’t a ‘gifted’ student, so the typical awards to be won just weren’t in the cards for me.  I’d have to bust my ass twice as hard as everyone else, it seemed, to even make it on the honour roll.  The highest I ever got was 3rd on that list one semester in high school. Certainly not award worthy.  Sigh…
Since my folks didn’t have the money to send me to university, instead of staying for OAC (grade 13), I found myself the only 17-year old sitting in my college classes. I completed that 3-year program top of my class, winning the scholarship award for being able to maintain a perfect 4.0 GPA throughout the program.  That was the first award I’ve ever won!  Seems not being able to join all my friends in the pub, as I was just wee… wasn’t all that bad a thing after all. 😉
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 ~~~~~~~~~
Ok.  There you have it friends.  7 random facts about moi.
It’s time for me to pay-it-forward.  As its name implies, this particular blog award is intended to be passed along to individuals and their blogs who inspire you in some capacity time and time again.   Since this describes every last one of the blogs I follow (I likely wouldn’t be following them in the first place if they didn’t!), I’m nominating the following:
Should blog awards not exactly be your favourite thing, not to worry, you are under zero obligation to play along. These kinds of posts are intended to be nothing but lighthearted fun, and should they not feel that way to you, by all means bow out of taking part in this one. I adore blog awards, but fully understand that not everyone does.
If you would like to take part, then here are the rules:
  1. Whip up a post of your own about receiving The Very Inspiring Blogger Award in which you link back to this post, thanking the lovely someone for nominating you (aka…MOI) and then
  2. Share seven random facts about yourself, and lastly…
  3. Bestow the award on a few whose sites you find to be a continual source of inspiration.
Happy blogging. xo

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Word!

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Do You Know Your Measurements?

I’ve recently been shopping with a couple of slender, vintage loving ladies in my life – both of whom have mad sewing abilities, who come armed with tape measure whenever they are hunting for fabulous vintage finds.  Both of these lovelies are avid online clothing shoppers as well.  The key thing I noticed with both of them is that they knew exactly what their measurements were.  Plus, they had a keen eye for what materials and fabrics … knowing what could be taken in/let out easily for possible adjustments to make these new-to-them-pieces work perfectly for their bods (mad skills I tell you).

So let me ask you……Do you know your measurements?

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The majority of women don’t.  I certainly didn’t.  Perhaps I was too scared to know what they are.  Aside from us all getting over the bad habit of comparing ourselves to other women, society has taught us that only thin can be beautiful.   With most ads showcasing perfectly airbrushed tall and skinny women to promote impossible standards of beauty, it’s no wonder we struggle with self-acceptance.  Sigh…  But we – people – come in a variety of shapes and sizes.

You can be the healthiest version of yourself and never come close to a size 4. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.  The#MeasureMeBeautiful campaign encourages women to know their bodies and their measurements, because KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!

And your measurements are just that – facts, information. In order to be an informed shopper – you have to know your size.  Become educated and empowered.  Show the world that your measurements are just that: numbers, facts, statistics. And that they do not measure your worth, greatness, or beauty.

Knowing your measurements will help you look at size charts and know what size you should be trying on in that store, rather than taking what you think is your “usual size” into the dressing room, having it not fit, getting discouraged, depressed and then telling yourself that you must lose weight immediately.

That’s just ridiculous.  Fashion should empower women with confidence rather than riddle them with guilt and sadness in retailer’s change rooms.  Every woman has the ability to be a fashionista, regardless of their size (or income level, for that matter).

Sizes vary from store to store, and every brand uses a different “fit” model for their line. So let’s throw away sizes all together and simply know yourself!  When you know your measurements, you are in control – not the clothing or their designer.

Right? Right!

Here’s mine (and with this knowledge I’ve been in online shopping frenzy mode folks! It’s nuts!!!  Stay tuned for blogposts on my haul soon) 😉 ….

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The #MeasureMeBeautiful campaign also seeks to reinforce that YOUR SIZE DOES NOT DEFINE WHO YOU ARE as a person!  These measurements, my size, the number on the scale do not determine my worth as a person.  And I will not let them determine my happiness.

I am many things besides a Size 14, 16, or 18 (at any given store). I am also  striving to be a body positivity activist. I am a writer & blogger. I’m a fashionista. I’m a friend,  a sister, a daughter. A Learning Designer.  An off-key karaoke singer. A lindy-hopper. A homeowner.  A grieving mother to a recently departed fur baby (R.I.P. Berto).   Why should we continue letting the fashion industry tell us we all must fit into their ‘sample size’ in order to be beautiful or fashionable?

Mallorie Carrington of SmartGlamour came up with this fantastic campaign. She’s challenged me.  Now I’m challenging you PPMeow readers, to get involved!

Measure yourself!

Not sure how? SmartGlamour has tutorial videos up here.   And for those Petite divas out there who’s not quite sure if they fall under this “Petite” term…here’s a vid just for you:

Visit the #MeasureMeBeautiful website to see what the movement is all about. Take a photo of you measuring yourself and share it along with your measurements on InstagramFacebook and Twitter with the hashtag #MeasureMeBeautiful.  Let’s show the world that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.

Help us spread the word that your size does not define you. Measure yourself beautiful! 🙂

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Curious about my outfit in this pic? Click here for outfit deets 🙂

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A Tribute to The Berto

Most days I carry on living my life as normal… I get up and get dressed, go to work, blog, shop, swing dance, meet people, etc.   On the outside I look just fine.

But I am not fine.  Sigh…  I am heartbroken.

It’s been two weeks.  Two weeks since the only constant in my life passed away. 😦

Friday morning, July 25, 2014 … I awoke to find my Berto in none of his usual spots.  Instead, he was sitting in the dark in my bathroom panting heavily and with a blue tongue.  And for the next 5-hours, I sat with him in my arms with 100% oxygen over his little face until the Vet and Heart Specialist talked to me about making that “tough decision” and end his suffering.

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He had been diagnosed with a collapsing trachea since his first surgery to remove bladder stones a few years earlier (poor lil’ guy).  This is why he’s (mostly)  seen wearing a harness in order to take any pressure off the trachea.  With the help of medication and modification of lifestyle, the collapsing trachea can be controlled but seldom cured. In severe cases, surgery to help open the airways may be beneficial, but most cases are managed medically not surgically.

Unfortunately, Bert’s heart condition wouldn’t be able to handle the meds needed for the trachea, and there was great risk with putting him through any other surgeries.  So I’ve been mentally preparing for the day when he’d have to leave me… I just thought I would have more time.

I’ve been feeling a lot of guilt.  Thoughts of “woulda, coulda, shoulda”  keep running through my mind.  If only I didn’t go swing dancing in the Beaches that night, maybe I would have noticed sooner. Had I noticed earlier that night, I could have taken him to the Emergency Pet Hospital at Davenport/Yonge with an ICU and the outcome maybe could have been different.  I dunno…sigh…

So, I’ve written this memorial post as a tribute to Bert aka The Berto aka Bertso the Flirtso, to his spirit and to the love, loyalty, laughs and companionship he’s given me  through the years.

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 The Beginning

2001 was a big year: I had just broken up with my first serious boyfriend and was about to live completely solo for the first time in my life.

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Growing up, my folks weren’t big on having pets.  I’ve always wanted a puppy!!!  Buuuut, having never owned any kind of animal before….. I got myself a hamster (named “Puppy”, of course) as training for dog-ownership.Screen Shot 2014-08-06 at 6.49.36 PM

Now this lil’ pup wasn’t without his own style – in fact, there’s a bin devoted to housing all of his many outfits. Yup…I was one of “those” owners 🙂

Here’s a mini-collection of all his diva looks from Summers to Christmas and everything in-between over the years …

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puppy outfits

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1979670_10152004950954072_801448949_n 484811_10151262921804072_693946312_nJust a sample I said, there are MANY more outfits in his wardrobe I’m afraid 🙂

This year… 

Bert became a condo-doggie, creating a perch at the end of the sofa to gaze out at the city…

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Pee-pad training on the new balcony was a fail…

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Bert cheered on the Canadian Men’s Hockey Team as they won gold at Sochi…

1010990_10151993120839072_291410436_nWe got to spend the day together lounging in Trinity Bellwoods Park and he’s been featured in a blogpot or two...

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And, we got to take a mini-vacay to Sugar Ridge  a dog-friendly Yoga Retreat, where Bert got to hangout with the girls (and Turnip) for an extra long weekend.  This was the last trip we took together.  He lived it up like a king…

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10425114_10152227047299072_5076443535583390754_n He’s always been more of a “people” dog, than a “dog’s dog”. Check him out drinking water out of a proper glass. Diva!IMG_3720

Yes, he’s wearing a sun hat…because it’s AWESOME!

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Last trip with the pup….Yoga Retreat with the girls
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Bert & Turnip … all tuckered out after a long relaxing few days of beach and yoga.

Writing about him and all the fun memories we’ve had together has really helped.  I miss him so much.

Farewell my beloved pooch.

Thank you for reading.

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~ Bert ~ 2001-2014

Dogs may not be our whole lives.  But they make our lives whole. ~ Roger Caras

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Have you ever lost a pet? Do you know what it feels like to watch your faithful friend fade away right before your eyes? Are you familiar with the agony involved in deciding to have a beloved pet euthanized?

If you’d like to share your story with me, I’d love to hear it…use the Comment Section below.

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From now until the end of the year,  My Beaded Designs will be donating $5 to the Pomeranian and Small Breed Rescue (PSBR) in honour of Bert’s memory from every Swarovski PAW sold!!:)

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Article: Let’s Stop Disguising Body Image Prejudice as ‘Concern For Wellbeing’

I recently found and shared this article (from The Huffington Post) earlier this week, I shared it on my Petite Plus, Meow’s Facebook Page  – it got a ton of views!

So I thought I would share it as a post on this space as well.

Personally…I do my best to live a healthy lifestyle, in a flexible way.   My hatred for the Queen Streetcar has made me TTC token-frugal and WALK everywhere.  Between Yoga, Swing Dancing, Country Line-Dancing…..shoot, I’m up for any kind of dancing….. multiple times a week, I seem to maintain the size I am now.

I enjoy cooking and eating, appreciate and savour a gourmet meal out and when I need chocolate, I allow myself chocolate.   🙂

THIS is the body I was suppose to have, and I’m determined to actively celebrate it …. now …. and as I see fit!!!   It’s taken me a long time to get to this level of self-acceptance, it’s a work in progress, but I’m thrilled to finally be here.   After all, isn’t owning your body  the healthiest thing of all?

Let’s Stop Disguising Body Image Prejudice as ‘Concern For Wellbeing’.  Good read ahead folks.

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Let’s Stop Disguising Body Image Prejudice as ‘Concern For Wellbeing’ – Written by 

I’m going to tell you something now which may shock you. Brace yourself. It is so utterly opposed to everything we have been conditioned to believe as a society that it might cause you a moment of absolute discombobulation… Ready?

There is absolutely no verified scientific evidence linking health to body shape.

That means every time you have heard some sanctimonious televisual pundit or journalist quoting stats on how much money ‘obesity’ costs the NHS every year, they were doing so on a flawed premise. It was *deep breath* incorrect.

I’ll allow you a few seconds to recover from what is undoubtedly some very disorientating cognitive dissonance…

Now, it would be utterly remiss of me to suggest that being completely sedentary and sitting on your backside all day eating huge quantities of lard is not terrible for your physical and mental health. It absolutely, irrefutably is. But we must remember that being sedentary and eating lard are not synonymous with being obese. There are plenty of obese people who eat well and take regular exercise, just as there are plenty of thin people who happen to have high metabolisms but are unknowingly storing potentially fatal fat around their internal organs by existing on super high calorie diets.

Making huge, sweeping generalisations about the particulars of a person’s lifestyle based on how they look is not only fist-gnawingly unfair, it’s preventing overweight people from getting the medical care they need and deserve (and it’s keeping theDaily Mail in business).

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There’s a secondary problem, too, of ‘overweight and obese’ people always being quoted in the same statistic. Here’s what always happens: TV show cuts to a VT of a person so large they are having difficulty walking down the street, wearing clothes three sizes two small (always filmed from behind, whether with their permission or not we do not know). TV presenter then says “One third of British adults are overweight or obese” before smoothly cutting to “obesity is linked to heart disease, diabetes blah blah blah”.

…SH*T! WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE AND OUR LEGS WILL FALL OFF! (You are supposed to think).

Let us be clear. Being consistently slightly overweight is far healthier than yo-yo dieting, a pattern of behaviour which, sadly, a huge proportion of British people have been locked into based on a skewed notion of ‘health’ incessantly shoved in their faces by an industry with a multi-million pound advertising budget at its disposal.

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I have a BMI of 27, putting me firmly in the ‘overweight’ category. Putting aside for one second how flawed BMI is as a measurement of, well, anything (condemning as it does most professional athletes, mixed race and black people to the Siberia of the dreaded overweight section, forevermore to be told they’re going to die and their legs will fall off) a recent comprehensive health check at a Harley Street clinic revealed I am 30% LESS likely to develop heart problems in the future than my peers. This is because I exercise three or four times a week and always ensure I get my five a day (fruit and veg, too! SNARF!). I have low cholesterol and low blood pressure – officially. And I’m a size 16. I’m the sort of seeming-anomaly that should make Katie Hopkins’ head implode (and nearly have, on numerous occasions, which was of course tremendous fun).

Despite this, my NHS GP is always telling me any ailment that happens to befall me (from anaemia to eczema) is ‘more common in overweight people’ and then she ticks her little box on her little flipchart which no doubt says ‘this condition was ENTIRELY self-inflicted by this STUPID fat person on her STUPID fat self’. Presumably, thin people are never poorly. Ever.

The prevailing confusion surrounding health and body shape is what allows people who are body Nazis, people who believe the slender are intellectually, emotionally and genetically superior, people who are *whisper it* quite obviously battling their own demons because no one should really care about anyone else’s body that much, to cover their inherent prejudice under a false notion of ‘caring about your wellbeing’.

As a body image campaigner, I’ve only ever wanted people to be healthy and happy. Crucially, I understand that health is a precarious balance between the mental and physical variety and that anyone sticking to a completely rigid regime of food and exercise is neglecting the former. I also understand that bodies are diverse organisms and that humans can live a healthy lifestyle and exist within the confines of huge variety of shapes and sizes.

I understand that body image insecurity stops people partaking in physical activity, from concentrating in school, from going for the job they really want or dating the person their heart desires. It stops us functioning, as a nation. Fat shaming rhetoric does not help our collective mind-set and, despite what we are so often told, it will not improve our health.

So, here’s my advice: Live a healthy lifestyle, in a flexible way. Laugh and love (because both giggling and shagging are fantastic for the abdominal muscles), exercise sometimes, eat a rainbow. Then see how your body ends up. Whatever it looks like, that is the body you are supposed to have and it is your right to celebrate it how you see fit.

Owning your body is the healthiest thing of all.

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So what are your thoughts on this friends?

Use the Comments section ….. would love to hear from you 🙂

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Speed Dating with 25Dates.com

So, if you’re a 30-something who’s looking to meet a good guy to date before (hopefully) finding one to call your ‘boyfriend’ …. how does one find HIM?  Dating is tough.  Dating after divorce, tougher.  Dating as a petite plus sized beauty, even tougher.  (Click here to link to a clip from Louie to see what I’m talking about).    I’m not one to write about dating advice nor do I want to start recapping all my adventures in dating via this forum…but I recently found a GroupOn for a speed dating event with 25Dates.com … and since Petite Plus, Meow! is both a fashion AND lifestyle blog, I wanted to share my experience and thoughts in this review with ya …. along with my outfit choice.

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How It Works:

In one night, you will sit down, one on one for up to 25 three-minute dates.  You will decide who you like, and who you would like to see again. It could be 5 people, it could be all 25!  Now we all know there’s nothing without mutual chemistry, so the 25 people you talk to will also be deciding if they want to see you again.  If there is a mutual match, your contact info is forwarded to them, and theirs to you. You are then free to explore your connection.  Typically, the cost for a ‘regular event’ like the one I attended is $50.

The GroupOn voucher allowed me to attend this event for $25…plus HST once you secure your spot for an upcoming event via 25Dates.com’s site for a date and location and age group that best suited your preference.

Sounded like a good deal.  But then I thought, “Do I really want to be meeting men who used a GroupOn to participate in this dating avenue?”

I’ve found with dating in general, it’s best to keep hopes high, but expectations looooow! 😉  I’m thinking these men clearly made some effort in searching out and investing in this event and possibly share a similar view on value vs. money  – which is an important characteristic to have in common I think – so why the heck not!

What I Wore:

I picked up this dress from my recent cross border shopping trip from Rainbow Clothing at a fantastic $15!!  I decided that it was smart-casual enough with just the right about of cleavage to be “date appropriate”.  After all, the mission was to get handsome, eligible bachelors to mark ‘yes’ beside my name in their scorecards after a mere 3-mins of chit-chat and banter.  A girl’s gotta use all her assets, so to speak, to hook a guy’s interest at warp-hyper-speed 😉

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The Event:

The event I signed up for fell on a Thursday night hosted by Vagabondo Italian Resto + Lounge, a really nice upscale spot just east of the Financial District, specific to Women 30-40 and Men 35-45.

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Upon arrival I found the facilitators of 25Dates.com to be a bit disinterested.  In fact, there were no official welcomes or icebreakers or formal introductions by the 25Dates.com reps at all.  As participants trickled into the venue they were given a scorecard, name tag and a quick rundown  as to how the evening was going to unfold: Women to sit on one side of table, Men would do the actual rotating around from table to table.  And that was it.  If you arrived at the designated time, you were then left on your own until the event official began.  I made my way to the bar and ordered a drink – as you’re left to fend for yourself – the fee for this event supposedly covered hors d’oeuvres, but I personally didn’t see any.  Those who did said they were sad state of affairs and not nearly enough for everyone in attendance to have a taste.

Considering how much time was allotted to the ‘registration’ portion of the evening, I think 25Dates.com should have included a free drink (or two) instead of hors d’oeuvres with the price of the ticket.  This way EVERYONE gets one and a little liquid courage is always helpful, possibly needed and appreciated in a meet-market-event like this one.  Also, another benefit to this ‘first drink free’ approach … the facilitators could/should be encouraging everyone to mingle in the bar, rather than having people sit alone at tables until the event was ready to begin.  I mean, isn’t that the whole point of this event?  An opportunity to meet new people.  It’s uber difficult to get motivated enough to come out and try an event like this in the first place, so it’s critical that the facilitators create a more welcoming environment, create rapport building opportunities perhaps by way of some general ice breaker activities to get people comfortable and chatting, prior to the exclusive 3-min one on one dates.  Just my two cents.

As the name of the event and company implies, I was expecting to meet at least 25 guys.  But there were maybe 16 men at most.  With this reduced attendance turnout, you’d think the facilitators could/would modify the event and increase the 1:1 time for each meeting, but this wasn’t the case. Again, another improvement that could have been made that would ultimately benefit all attendees.  Also, it seemed that the facilitators didn’t really factor in the time it takes for these men to get up and rotate from table to next table…which ate into the precious 3-min timeline of the next mini-date.  Not cool.

When the event ended, everyone hands in their scorecards to the facilitators….if you have matches (that is, you picked them AND they picked you), 25Dates.com will send you an email with your matches’ email address – and then its up to the two of you to take it from there!  What I found interesting about the attendees of this event is how quickly people cleared out of the venue once the event concluded.  I mean, if you did  select ‘YES’ to someone, isn’t this now the perfect opportunity to chat them up a bit more, have a drink with them, grab a bite to eat, etc.?!    Since I had plans to meet up with a gf afterwards, I made my way back to the bar and chatted up the last two participants (a guy and girl, friends who work together) and we debriefed our experiences of the night together.  Much of my above thoughts and overall mediocre impressions of the event resonated with them also.

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The Results:

I have to admit that I was pleasantly surprised at the calibre of men at this event.  Most of whom worked for financial institutions, like myself, were dressed well and seemed generally positive.  This is a nice change from what I’ve been finding on free internet dating sites.  It does seem that if men have some ‘skin in the game’, i.e. made an effort and shelled out some cash to be a part of a dating/introduction event like this, they seemingly put in more of an effort.  Click here and here for my previous thoughts on the Art of Manliness.)

Needless to say that after my 16-mini dates, there wasn’t an instant love connection with any of them.  11 of them seemed very interested in reviewing my CV in full, asking job-realted-interview type questions.  Sigh… guess its sort of default topic, but seriously, asking me ANYTHING else would have made for a more enjoyable mini-date.  Of all the dudes I met….5 gents really held my attention.  Those who made it to the YES category of my scorecard were those who DIDN’T ask me about work right off the bat, those who not only dressed well but uniquely with a bit of swagger in their own personal style, and last but certainly not least, were Tall and Handsome 🙂

Turns out 4 of the 5 men I selected YES to, picked me as well!  Since I couldn’t remember what any of these dudes looked like, I used their email addy’s to find and friend them on Facebook.  And so far have already begun chatting and making plans with two in particular ……weeeeeee!  So there you have it – speed dating, way better experience than online dating.  Buying the voucher via GroupOn pricing for this event was of fair value, but had I paid the full price for this event with 25Dates.com I would have been very disappointed.

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How I Got The Look:

Coral & navy patterned faux wrap dress from Rainbow Clothing; Brown sandals from Payless; Purse from Guess; Gold bracelet Michael Kors watch + gold drop earrings AND new fantastic lipstick: Rouge Artist Intense by Make Up Forever

20140613-163031-59431061.jpgHave you ever gone Speed Dating?  What were your thoughts and experience like? Would you go again? Why/Why not?  Tell me in the Comments section friends.

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The honest truth about dating in your 30s…as a fat girl

I’m not one to write about dating advice nor do I want to start recapping all my adventures in dating via this forum.   But when I  stumbled upon this article & vid clip (from ThoughtCatalog.com) earlier this week, I shared it on my Petite Plus, Meow’s Facebook Page  — it got a ton of views!

So I thought I would share it as a post on this space as well.  Dating is tough.  Dating after divorce is tougher.  Dating in your 30s as a fat girl may be the worst.

Watch and/or read this clip…captured IT completely:  The honest truth about dating in your 30s as a fat girl.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFdWcNJ17YY

 

In case you have one of those gross job things and can’t watch the video right now, here are some of the best “you go, fat girl” lines:

“You know what the meanest thing is you can say to a fat girl? ‘You’re not fat.’”

“It really, really sucks (being fat). You have no idea. And the worst part is…I’m not supposed tell anyone how much it sucks because it’s too much for people.”

“(Men) can…say you can’t get a date, you’re overweight, and it’s adorable, but if I say it, they call the suicide hotline. I mean, can I just say it? I’m fat. It sucks to be a fat girl. Can people just let me say it?”

“On behalf of all the fat girls, I’m making you representative of all the guys: Why do you hate us so much? What is it about the basics of human happiness, you know, feeling attractive, feeling loved, having guys chase after us, that’s just not in the cards for us? Nope, not for us. How is that fair? And why am I supposed to just…accept it?”

Louie: Stumbling over words “Look, you’re a really…very beautiful…”
Sarah: “Come on. If I was a ‘really, very beautiful…’, you would’ve said yes when I asked you out. I mean, come on, Louie, be honest here.”

“I flirt with guys all the time. And I mean, the great looking ones? They flirt right back, no problem. Because they know their status will never be questioned. But guys like you never flirt with me because you get scared that maybe you should be with a girl like me. And why not?!”

Sarah: “Have you ever dated a girl that was heavier than you?”
Louie: “Yes, yes I have.”
Sarah: “No, no, no. I didn’t say, ‘Have you ever fucked a fat girl?’ I’m sure you have, every guy has. I mean, when I met you, if I had said, ‘Hey, you wanna go to the back room and screw on a can of peaches?’, you would’ve gone for it. No. I’m saying have you ever dated a fat girl? Have you ever kissed a fat girl? Have you ever wooed a fat girl? Have you ever held hands with a fat girl? Have you ever walked down the street, in the light of day, holding hands with a big girl like me? Go ahead, hold my hand. What do you think is going to happen? Do you think your dick is going to fall off if you hold hands with a fat girl?”

“I can get laid. Any woman who is willing can get laid. I don’t want that. I don’t even need a boyfriend or husband. All I want is to hold hands with a nice guy and walk and talk.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pretty real right?  If you haven’t seen the show Louie he writes from an autobiographical character who isn’t afraid to be real about his shittiness as a man, a parent, a human overall.  He cuts to the core of what’s wrong with the world, but also presents us with scenarios where awareness of the world is mixed with awareness of self mixed with intelligent humour …Only in a show like that would you have a scene like this.

So what are your thoughts on this?

Are larger ladies simply S-O-L when it comes to dating?  And fellas, DO YOU think your dick is going to fall off if you hold hands with a fat girl?

Share using the comments section below.

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Gussied Up & Tess Munster!

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Gussied Up, a plus size clothing boutique owned by the lovely Victoria McGroarty, celebrated the store’s 3rd anniversary this weekend – with a Meet & Greet with Miss Tess Munster!

 

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This delightful Bathurst boutique has classic pieces and Canadian designs in sizes X-3X.  With versatile pieces like day-to-evening dresses, casual blazers, leggings and cute but practical undergarments.

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This past visit I had my eye on the vintage-inspired bathing suits — any era with fashions that celebrates hips & tits wins my heart every time!  The feminine details for belts and bling is what I go weak in the knees for (ended up buying a sweetie-pie one I’ve had my eye on since seeing it on Instagram).

MINE!  The Black Bow Belt!
MINE! The Black Bow Belt!

 

With the weather oh-so gorgeous, I walked up from West Queen West (a significant distance) – so I decided to dress down cozy and comfy with my navy faux Toms (Airwalk from Payless), pink stripped maxi (from AdditionElle), cat-eye sunnies (from The Public Butter), pink moustache scarf (from Winners), faded denim-hoodie jacket (Jessica Simpson from HBC) and my MK grey cross body bag to make my Saturday afternoon stroll to meet Miss Tess Munster!

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The line up to meet Tess nearly wrapped the corner of Dupont!  Lucky for me….Rebecca (of Rebecca Northcott Photography) and I had a “tag-team approach”… and who ever got there first would save a spot for the other, regardless of the dirty looks to come our way by fellow-in-line fans! 😉

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Tess is a Plus-Size Model, Make Up Artist, Body Positive Activist and Blogger based in L.A., who turned her hobbies into a successful career.  She is a petite woman with an amazing smile that truly does light up a room!

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She recently founded the #effyourbeautystandards movement which has over 65,000 shares on Instagram alone, that changed her life. She receives letters and emails from different women every day thanking her for empowering them to love their bodies, and to not be ashamed of being short, pale/dark, or dare I say…Fat.

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The features that Tess was bullied about in her youth, that she now embraces, that has led to her success.  She really is an inspiration, encouraging other women to embrace and accept who they are, as they are.

Tess hopes that girls who are bullied, and women who lack confidence will begin to see their inner and outer beauty at whatever size.

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For everyone that says we can’t show our tummies, wear a pencil/form-fitting skirt, wear a bikini, wear sleeveless tops… YOU can!

That’s the main message of the #effyourbeautystandards campaign   — Tess wants YOU to join her in wearing “daring” fashions & stop hiding your body because society tells you to.

BE a total babe regardless of our size..big OR small we all deserve to feel beautiful.

 

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Take a look at some of the beautiful shots Rebecca captured at the Meet & Greet with Miss Tess Munster at Gussied Up:

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Tess was a delight to meet!  A genuinely nice person — happy to give hugs, pose for pictures …even TAKING SELFIES with her adoring fans!

I’ve got a massive #girlcrush on this woman – even more now that I’ve met her!

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Tess with Rebecca, of Rebecca Northcott Photography

Tess is proof that determination, relentlessness, and positivity can look beautiful on anyone, and that there is a wonderful life past a size 20.

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Gussied Up located at 1090 Bathurst St (at Dupot) in Toronto, Ontario.  You should def make a visit to see what fabulous fashions finds need to be yours!

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Here are a few shots taken by my iPhone camera too:

Me with Gussied Up owner, Victoria
Me with Victoria, Owner of Gussied Up!

 

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Shots taken with my iPhone: Me + Victoria and Me + Tess Munster

 

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